Several news stories caught my eye today during the morning surf routine. Although I saw these on the MSNBC news site, a bit of simple Google-fu will find them for you. These are the headlines:

1) “Judge rules saggy pants law unconstitutional” — it’s nice to know that not all of our constitutional rights are being discarded. Although at my age, my pants sag because of my “dunlap” disease — my belly done lap over my belt.

2) “Toilet-paper researchers create 3-ply tissue” — Yes, three-ply toilet tissue is what I will be looking for, even though the new product will be aimed by the “Quilted Northern” foks “to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a ‘sanctuary for quality time.’ ” What about us guys? I view my bathroom as a place to catch up on some quality reading. It’s a very private and quiet place, although I do appreciate the included fan.

3) “Sons of infertile men may be next” — This one is just confusing. If a man is shooting blanks, how can his son inherit the same problem? Think about it. But not too long.

Apparently, it’s time to go take my medications.